Heart Check

I’m sure –well at least I hope– I’m not the only one who often times wonders why it’s so hard to stay on the right path. At least I know brother Paul could relate. (Romans 7:19). Really though, why is it so hard? It’s like taking one step forward and seven trillion steps back. (Okay slight exaggeration…fine, major exaggeration. But you get my point.)

Recently the Holy Spirit has been bringing something to my realisation and I think it sort of answers this nut of a question that we all find so hard to crack.

About a month or two ago, I started slacking in terms of reading my Bible and praying (that wouldn’t be the first time though.). I didn’t even realise it till I had altogether stopped reading and praying. I still felt so spiritual and pious though because I could still just as much encourage people in the Lord with ease, verses would roll right off my tongue and I still dreamt enough to start a movie production. So surely, I was on the right path. After all, why would God use or speak to/through someone who isn’t on the path of righteousness you know? How wrong I was. [You may think you’re operating in the will of God but in fact, His anointing may have left you. Exhibit A; King Saul (1 Samuel 13)]

In the subsequent days, God begun highlighting to me all the problems or things wrong with my attitude.

I noticed that I started to act differently and fell back into my old ways. I became moody again, having random mood swings and getting upset with everybody for no reason. My heart has been filled with SO much pride. My best friend and I recently had a very tiny disagreement and normal mature me would have had a conversation with her upfront and made peace with her in that same moment. But nope. I was so so childish and prideful about it. Refusing to text first, not wanting to be honest or open about anything, not willing to admit my wrongs, nothing. I was just in a sulk and gave her an attitude for days !

I would randomly start entertaining irrelevant thoughts about something someone said a week ago that annoyed me and meditate on the sharp comeback that I could have given them, bearing fruit of anger at them for no apparent reason.

I hadn’t been to church in the past month, and at first my excuse seemed valid. ‘I’m unwell’. Then God healed me and it became ‘oh I’m tired’. Then ‘I don’t feel like going’. (Which I identified as the real reason I had been postponing.) I just didn’t want to go and see all those faces and be surrounded by so many people and have to talk to and be nice to them. My old reclusive self was manifesting!

I became such a spendthrift. No really. I would make money in a day and blow it all by nighttime. On nothing substantial. Yes I would still pay tithe but that was my only consistent expense. The rest of my money went into food, clothes, shoes, irrelevant Uber trips to nowhere just so I could feel like I was spending money. I even got tempted to start eating into my savings. Heck the thought of touching God’s money (tithe) even crossed my mind one time !!!!

I’ve always prayed for a teachable spirit; to accept correction in humility and all readiness because I fully acknowledge(d) that I’m not perfect. But recently, the minute someone tried to give me advice or suggestions or attempts to point my wrongdoing out, I would immediately feel myself becoming defensive and my spirit begin to oppose.

I would cuss as often times as I blinked. I became soooo impatient with myself and everybody else. Unfriendly. Quick to judge. Lacked compassion. I just didn’t care how anybody felt or thought. I was over it really. I could feel my heart becoming cold again, feeling indifferent and numb about everybody. Oh and did I already say prideful?

What was going on ??? What was happening to me???? It felt as if my old self was manifesting and problems I thought I had long dealt with were rearing their ugly heads and noses and chests in my life again. How come though? I thought I was very righteous and back in God’s good books (especially because I had finally snapped out of my disobedience to Him and started being intentional about the blog and fulfilling my purpose in Him again.) At least I was *feeling* righteous.

And then I realised. The difference was a 5 letter word. BIBLE. Truly. That was it. That was the cause of all this attitude and problems. I had stopped reading my Bible and spending time with God and in His presence. And no, reading Bible Plan verses on the Bible app doesn’t count as reading your bible with intention. In fact it became so routine to me that I would highlight a verse and then realise I hadn’t even taken notice of the quotation.

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              What’s the point of my rigmarole?

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I am a living testimony that the Bible doesn’t just talk in a vacuum. The Lord wasn’t just saying phrases which sounded cute or applied only in times of old. The Bible is still just as relevant and applicable today, and the Word is manifesting daily in our lives ! (Hebrews 4:12). God knew what he was talking about then when he said be transformed by the renewal of your mind and he still means it now ! (Romans 12:2).

I’ve backslidden so many times before but this time what I truly realised is apart from God I really can do nothing (John 15:5). I must abide in Him DAILY and be intentional in seeking Him.

Really and truly the reading the Bible and spending time in His presence does make all the difference in the world. Try it. You won’t notice at first, but it will definitely make an impact on your life and transform you. If you don’t believe me try it. Start small. Spend ten minutes reading your Bible (your actual hard copy bible) with intentionality and the Holy Spirit (not like a Mills and Boons novel) and whisper a word of prayer to God. As you continue doing this consistently, you will start to notice a significant change in yourself. Stop and you’ll realise that you’re falling back into your old ways.

There’s just something awesome about spending time and abiding in God’s presence. Now that I know what the difference between me and my old self is, I’m coming back to the heart of worship ❤️. It is my sincere prayer that you will taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8) and choose to dwell in His presence day by day, hour by hour and minute by minute in Jesus’ name.

“But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

GALATIANS 5:22-23 AMP

Who’s your Daddy?

We all have an earthly father, because according to biology, we are the product of the fusion of the male and female sex cells. But unfortunately, not all of us had the chance to ever meet our fathers or even if we did, not all of us have a relationship with them. To some, he’s just a donor of a sperm. To others he’s just ‘father’ not ‘daddy’ as fathers are sometimes affectionately called. But irrespective of who our earthly fathers may be, we all have a Heavenly Father who doubles as the King of Kings. He calls us His own, and those who accept Jesus as their Lord and personal saviour are all His children and belong to one big family (John 1:12-13).

That means that by inheritance, we are all heirs to the throne and co-heirs with Christ Jesus, His only begotten son. (Romans 8:15-17) Basically, we are royalty and we have an inheritance waiting for us in Heaven. (1 Peter 2:9) The implication of this is that we are kings and queens even here on earth and we ought to act as such. We have to allow the true King to model us and shape us and teach us how to act like the Queens/Kings that we are. We can’t act anyhow, dress anyhow or talk any how. We need to claim our inheritance from our Heavenly Father and allow ourselves to go through preparation as heirs to the Throne.

It doesn’t matter your background, where you’re from, what kind of family you were born into or what you’ve been through. If you’ve given your life to Christ then you belong to a family of royals and your Daddy is God. The King of Kings. The Lord of Lords. The Omnipresent Omnipotent Omniscient God. The one who causes the seas to part, who makes manna fall from heaven, who walks on water. The Lion of the Tribe of Judah. The one who turns water to wine.

THAT is your Father and you are His child. Irrespective of whether you’ve been looked down upon or you’ve had your fair share of troubles in life, it doesn’t change your lineage. You are royalty by blood and you need to walk in that light. So next time you’re faced with trials or life is trying to bring you down, just ask yourself ‘Who’s your Daddy?‘ and be reminded that you are a child of the King.

I Am…

I once listened to a podcast by Robert Madu titled ‘Water and the Wilderness’ and out of many lessons I learned, one really stuck with me. It is a profound truth that defines the basis of our identity in Him. It is a constant reminder of whose we are and what He thinks of us. This is the truth: that we are LOVED, we are CHILDREN OF GOD, and HE IS PLEASED WITH US.

Now catchy as this may sound, it didn’t stick with me because Robert said it. It stuck with me because I realized that that is actually a summary of what the Word says about us. It is not an opinion or a catch-phrase. It is a truth which has legitimate backing in the Word of God, which is the source of all truth and will stand forever. (1 Peter 1:24, John 17:17)

Let’s break it down:

I am loved (Jeremiah 31:3)

I am a child of God (Galatians 3:26)

He is pleased with me (Matthew 3:17)

This is an overwhelming yet accurate truth we all need to come to realise. And it’s one that we need to constantly tell ourselves till it sinks in. All the time. Everyday. In every situation. This should be our declaration.

•When you wake up early in the morning and you’re looking in the mirror ; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me“

•When you’re making breakfast; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me“

•When someone intentionally irritates you and tries to get a rise out of you; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me“

•When it seems like you’re having a bad day; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me”

•When you aren’t making good grades; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me”

•When that call you’ve been waiting for finally comes through; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me”

•When your prayers are answered; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me”

•When it seems as if all hope is lost and God has gone silent on you; “I am loved, I am a child of God and He is pleased with me”

•When you step out of the water and into the wilderness; “I am loved, I am a child of God, and He is pleased with me”

“But what if He’s not pleased with me” you might ask? “What if I’ve wronged Him so much He’s upset with me and disappointed in me?” While it displeases God when we disobey Him, our actions do not determine the measure of His love for us. God is not fickle-minded like man, changing His mind about us depending on our reaction towards Him (Numbers 23:19). Our righteousness is not credited to us by our works, and His love for us cannot be earned. (Ephesians 2:8). Sinning doesn’t change what you mean to Him and what He says about you. His love for you is without condition. (Romans 5:8)

Whatever situation you find yourself in, give thanks to God. (1 Thessalonians 5:16) Stay focused on Him. Remember that He has your best interest at heart and He is working everything out for your good. Whether you’re happy, sad, down or hopeful, choose to remind yourself today and all the rest of your days of what the Word of God says about you. And if you choose to believe nothing at all about His Word, believe that YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND HE IS PLEASED WITH YOU.

YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD AND HE IS PLEASED WITH YOU.

*Check out the podcast by Robert Madu : Water & The Wilderness