I Will Wait

So it seemed

That is was cool

For everyone to be in a relationship but me

So I took matters into my own hands

And ended up with him

Him who displayed the characteristics of a cheater, a liar, an abuser, and a thief

So why was I surprised when he broke into my heart

I called 9-1-1

But I was cardiac arrested

For aiding and abetting

Cuz it was me who let him in

Claiming we were just friends

It was already decided for me by the first day

That even if he wasn’t

I was going to make him the one

You know I was tired of being alone

And I simply made up in my mind

That it was about that time

So I decided to drag him along for the ride

Cuz I was always the bridesmaid and never the bride

A virgin in the physical

But mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat

Who was tired of the wait

So I was gonna make him the one

He had a form of Godliness

But, not much

But, but, Hey, Hey

I can change him

So I’ll take him

I mean he’s close

Enough

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter

Not knowing the value of its use to me

Arteries so clogged with my will

It blocked His will from flowing through me

So I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack that

Flat lined my obscured vision

Put me flat on my back

Through my ignorance He saw

So through my sternum He sawed

And cracked open my chest

To transplant Psalm 51:10

A new heart

And a renewed right spirit within

So now I fully understand

Better yet, I thoroughly comprehend

How much I need to wait for you

See, the bad thing is that

I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning

Cuz in the beginning was the Word

And he didn’t even sound or shine like your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks

And all he could whisper was sweet empty nothings

Which meant nothing

He couldn’t even pray when I needed him to

Asking him to fast would be absurd

So forget about being cleansed and washed with water through the Word

But I know you

You were already praying for me

Even never having met me

Let me assure you

I will wait for you

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

To appease my boredom

Or to quench my thirsty desire for attention to short lift compliments from sorta kindas

You know he’s sorta kinda right

But, sorta kinda wrong

His first name Luke

His last name Warm

I, I wont settle for false companionship

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms attempting to find some closeness

But never feeling so far apart

Cuz I just wanna be held

♪ Cuz all I gotta do is say ♪

NO!

No more almost sessions of almost coming close

Passing winks and buying drinks

And ♪ I’m a, I’m a, I’m a flirt ♪

Who flirts with the ideology of

Can you just tell me how much I can get away with and still be saved?

No more

I’ll stay in my bed, alone, and write poems about how I will wait for you

He won’t even come close

Our fingers won’t even interlock

We won’t even exchange breath

Cuz I have thoughts that I’ve saved as in a file

That God has only equipped you to open

I will no longer get weighted down from so called friends and family talks

About the concern for my biological clock

When I serve the author of time

Who is not subject to time

But I’m subject to Him

He has the ability to stop, fast forward, pause or rewind at any given time

So if we could role play

You would be Abraham and I would be Sarah

Or you could be Isaac and I could be Rebecca

A servants answered prayer

I am bone of your bone

Flesh of your flesh

Made up of your rib, Adam

And once we meet

Like electrons I will be bound to your nucleus

Completely indivisible, Atom

We even speak the same math

1 + 1 + 1 = 3

Which really equals one if you add HIM

We were all created in His image

But you have the ability to reflect, project and even detect the Son

If I were to explain what you look like

You would have to look like a star

A son of the Son

I would gain energy simply from the light that you shine on me

I would need you in order to complete my photosynthesis

I await your revelation but once again from the genesis

I will wait for you

And I will know you

Because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses

Your faith will remind me of Abraham

Your confidence in Gods word will remind me Daniel

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul

Your heart for God will remind me of David

Your attention to detail will remind of Noah

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph

And your ability to abandon your own will remind me of the Disciples

But your ability to love selflessly and unconditionally will remind me of Christ

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews

Or any special Marks

Cuz His word will be tatted all over your heart

And you will know me

And you will find me where

The Boldness of Esther, meets the warm closeness of Ruth

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah

I will be the one

Drenched in Psalms 31

Waiting for you

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this Earth

Only if you should see fit

I desire your will above mine

So even if you call me to a life of Single-ness

My heart is content with you

The one who was sent

You are the greatest Love story ever told

The greatest Love ever known

You are forever my Judge

And I’m forever your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Fathers business

I will always be yours

And I will always wait for you Lord

More than the watchmen wait for the morning

More than the watchmen wait for the morning

 ❤I WILL WAIT ❤

This is an absolutely beautiful and powerful poem recited by Janette…ikz (stage name). Click here to watch her recite it, as well as read her beautiful story of how she finally DID find love because she waited !

P.S. She wrote a sequel to the poem as her vows to the man she waited so long for. God does answer prayers. Click here to watch that as well !

To whom this may concern, you are never alone. No matter how long, lonely or dreary the wait gets, be inspired and take solace in the fact that the wait will be worth it. ❤️

Lonely Old Woman (LOW)

That’s what I fear I’ll become sometimes.

I’m generally content in my singleness and I trust that God will help me find a good man who is my purpose partner to do life with.

But there are those days.

See I always wanted a specific love story; Meet at a very young age under the most creative circumstances, fall in love, be together till we’re old enough to marry, marry and have babies I can say ‘I met your dad when we were kids’ to.

For years I prayed for that narrative. But as the years went by, my wish started to look like a mirage. I gave up when I turned 21 because I didn’t consider meeting someone at age 21 ‘kids’. I sometimes consoled myself with the fact that maybe I’ve already met him and I don’t know yet but when I think back on all the men I’ve met, the thought that it could be one of them is just … 😂 nope. Well unless of course it’s some random guy I met for two seconds and am yet to be acquainted with (in which case it doesn’t count because we technically don’t know each other yet).

Besides having commitment and trust issues, the thought of settling unnerves me. Especially now that I know my worth and can have God’s best, it just doesn’t make sense to settle for just anybody because of pressure or loneliness, or something equally fleeting.

I know that I’m a ‘go the whole 9 yards’ kind of girl and if I’m going to invest that much time, prayers, energy and emotions into a person, the least I can do is be sure that it’s a person that God approves of.

I know all these things. I know how crucial it is to make sure I don’t settle with just anybody because marriage is not a joking something. This is someone I’m going to do LIFE with. I can’t pick just any apple from the tree.

But there are those days.

Those days when I see pictures of couples’ ten year challenge or hear stories of how happy they are to have someone. Those days when I wonder if I ever really will find my special someone, or if such a person even exists. Those days when I’m tempted to succumb to people’s ominous warnings that I’m not growing any younger and that if I maintain such a standard I’ll be 35 and still be searching.

Then I consider that maybe I’ll be a Lonely Old Woman with 95 cats (Well. In my case 95 butterflies because I don’t like cats or dogs or birds…you get it. What’s with the whole single lady with cats theory anyway??) and a sexual frustration that cannot be curbed. And then I worry. That maybe it’s true. Maybe I should stop being so particular about certain traits. Maybe I should just settle.

But then I remember that if I make a mistake and end up with someone who isn’t for me, I will live to regret it for the rest of my life. I want to build a home and raise kids to the glory of God and I can’t do that with just anybody. And I’d rather be 35 and get it right, than marry at 25 and be trapped in an unhappy marriage for life.

And I’d rather be 35 and get it right, than marry at 25 and be trapped in an unhappy marriage for life.

So anytime my fear of becoming a LOW if I don’t settle comes up, I remind myself that He makes everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11) and that when I finally do meet someone, it’ll be worth the wait and my adamant refusal to settle. Instead, I choose to shift my focus to BECOMING the spouse I want to see and wait patiently for God’s best.

So at the expense of becoming a LOW, I Will Wait.